Monday, July 24, 2006


I missed my yoga class today. but I did heavenly yoga last week in Maine....

me doing 'tree pose' on Misty Mountain on Vinalhaven
view toward the Camden hills....

Saturday, July 22, 2006

home again

looking toward the Fox Island Thoroughfare from Vinalhaven

the view from the light-filled living room...
even on a foggy day you can see down to the ocean at the bottom of the hill

Home from Maine, where I had a good time, spent alot of time photographing things, and figuring out how that impacts my 'living'. I have always taken alot of photos, and documented in a way, but also just looking at things in my own way and expressing that on film. I try to make sure I am still living too, not just documenting... participating in my own life.

It was a long trip home, a ferry ride followed by a 5 hour drive in several bouts of downpours. Now we are home, and the weather is not my style- hot and humid. Wish I could be back in Maine. The house we were in (the same one for quite a number of years) is not my choice, but also so much better than what I am in. I can breathe there- look out windows and feel space. The house is filled with light and has an airiness about it. That is not true for the house we live in. So upon returning home, I find the weather, and my house, both stifling, and I long for change.

I long for the kind of change that moving to a new place brings.... where belongings are considered and rethought, where spaces are new, places are new and they are wanting to be discovered. I need a breath of fresh air. It feels awfully stale here. I yearn for change, in so many ways. I found a sense of peace when we were in Maine. I can't get that here. There are too many people, with too much emphasis on money, and I feel left out when I am here, and don't have the money to spend. In so many other places, it just doesn't matter, and doesn't exclude one from activities, the way it does here. It seems to make me feel like I need more, when in fact, I have alot by the standards of other places. Those are the places where I want to be. Places where there are so many other things that are more important. And where I can be more comfortable just being me, and finding others to connect with, on a deeper level. Somewhere there is more natural beauty, and down to earth people, good food, good times, and cooler weather!
Eli- smiling and having fun on the rocks

Emmett peacefully painting at the dining table

And granted we were on vacation, but my boys were much more free there. I found them smiling more, particularly Eli. I smiled more too. So much is easy there. Easy to just go outside and do. And be creative. Even inside, when it is raining, or even not. The space was filled with light in almost every room. Basically the opposite of my home now. I need to work towards more change. Need to find a place that can bring out in all of us, the things that were good there.
the boys happily hanging out at Brown's Head Lighthouse

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Getting Ready to Go

Packing all sorts of things as we are off to Maine in the morning. The boys and I are off to check out some overnight camps for Eli for next summer.
We are going to see and stay at: Winona, O-AT-KA, and Birch Rock.
On Saturday we will meet Adam at the ferry to go to Vinalhaven!!! yeah!!! We'll be there for a week. I've packed a bunch of tea, and lots of yummy foods to share and enjoy while we are there.
Can't wait!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Off soon to Maine

Soon we will be going off to Maine. I love it there. It is cool and crisp in the evenings, warm in the daytime, not crowded (if you go far enough up), friendly, familiar, beautiful, clear lakes, and room for me to breathe- mentally.

I still haven't packed a thing yet, despite the fact that we are leaving in less than 48 hours. The boys and I will be visiting overnight camps to see if one is a good fit for Eli for next summer. We will visit Winona, and O-AT-KA, which are both near Sebago Lake. Then on Saturday morning, we will drive to Rockland (about 1/2 way up the coast) and get in line to take the ferry over to Vinalhaven. Adam will meet us there, as he will be riding up on his motorcycle on Saturday morning.
the view from the house we will be in

The boys are excited, as they know it well. They also know that their mom is more peaceful and happy in Maine. Days are lazy and there is plenty of time to hunt for great beach glass, starfish, crabs, and more. Going in to town there is fun for the boys. There isn't much there, but just enough. There is a toy store they love: Go Fish, and a few other places we wil have to stop in and see. Otherwise it is just a mission to have summer days that end with the sun falling over and sending golden rays into the sky.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Canada vs U.S.

It is the 4th of July here, and it was Canada Day just north a few days ago. Funny thinking about the two. There is so much that frustrates me about the U.S., and so much that appeals to me about Canada... in so many ways and for so many reasons- from health care, to attitude, to goverment decisions, to climate, to the wide open beauty and oh so much more. I have looked into moving there and it is easier said than done.

One blog : we move to canada... I found so helpful, and still continue to read. Laura writes of all of the trials and tribulations of immigrating from the U.S. to Canada, and details the entire process. Her tagline is that she is 'American by birth, Canadian by choice'. That is how I feel that I want to be.

Much of her sentiment is echoed in me, in a post called flags. She writes about the differences in the two flags and what they evoke in her. It may be a bit brief and "starry eye'd" but I like it. She writes:
For me, it's what the flag itself means to me. A flag is a symbol. And right now, the American flag symbolizes war and empire. Greed and unchecked capitalism. Arrogance and belligerence. And rampant hypocrisy, since we're told the Stars and Stripes symbolizes freedom and democracy, and both are in such short supply.

The Maple Leaf, by contrast, seems so benign. So understated. It beckons to me: Live a good life. Live a quieter life. We don't have all the answers, we're just trying to do the best we can in an imperfect world. Join us and we'll work on it together.

It seems odd to be reflecting on all of it in the midst of the national holidays, but also it is exactly these days that should make one realize what they stand for, and to question if they align with the beliefs that we each hold.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

gathering with family

back: Sue and John, Eli, Mom and Dad, Sandy, Kate, Robby, Dave
front: Emmett, me, Charlie, Grace, Janey, Vicki, Jack


back: Sue and John, Eli, Mom and Dad, Sandy, Kate, Robby, Dave
front: Emmett, me, Charlie, Grace, Janey, Vicki, Jack