home again

looking toward the Fox Island Thoroughfare from Vinalhaven

the view from the light-filled living room...
even on a foggy day you can see down to the ocean at the bottom of the hill

Home from Maine, where I had a good time, spent alot of time photographing things, and figuring out how that impacts my 'living'. I have always taken alot of photos, and documented in a way, but also just looking at things in my own way and expressing that on film. I try to make sure I am still living too, not just documenting... participating in my own life.

It was a long trip home, a ferry ride followed by a 5 hour drive in several bouts of downpours. Now we are home, and the weather is not my style- hot and humid. Wish I could be back in Maine. The house we were in (the same one for quite a number of years) is not my choice, but also so much better than what I am in. I can breathe there- look out windows and feel space. The house is filled with light and has an airiness about it. That is not true for the house we live in. So upon returning home, I find the weather, and my house, both stifling, and I long for change.

I long for the kind of change that moving to a new place brings.... where belongings are considered and rethought, where spaces are new, places are new and they are wanting to be discovered. I need a breath of fresh air. It feels awfully stale here. I yearn for change, in so many ways. I found a sense of peace when we were in Maine. I can't get that here. There are too many people, with too much emphasis on money, and I feel left out when I am here, and don't have the money to spend. In so many other places, it just doesn't matter, and doesn't exclude one from activities, the way it does here. It seems to make me feel like I need more, when in fact, I have alot by the standards of other places. Those are the places where I want to be. Places where there are so many other things that are more important. And where I can be more comfortable just being me, and finding others to connect with, on a deeper level. Somewhere there is more natural beauty, and down to earth people, good food, good times, and cooler weather!

Eli- smiling and having fun on the rocks

Emmett peacefully painting at the dining table

And granted we were on vacation, but my boys were much more free there. I found them smiling more, particularly Eli. I smiled more too. So much is easy there. Easy to just go outside and do. And be creative. Even inside, when it is raining, or even not. The space was filled with light in almost every room. Basically the opposite of my home now. I need to work towards more change. Need to find a place that can bring out in all of us, the things that were good there.

the boys happily hanging out at Brown's Head Lighthouse