Lost in Transition

Feel like I am constantly on the move lately. I am in the car an awful lot.
I get in the car in the morning and drive kids to camp, to bus stops. Then I am driving again to the grocery store, to yoga, to home, wherever. Then I am back in the car to get Emmett from his morning at school(now camp). We drive home or maybe stop and do an errand. Then later we are back out in the car to get Eli from the bus. Sometimes Emmett doesn't want to go out again, but he is still far too little to leave at home, so.... pile him in the car and drive away.

Lots of things live in my car. In my travels, and with my ADD head, I never know where I may be stopping, so it is better to be prepared. So, I have all sorts of things in the car. Yoga mat, snacks for me (fruit, celery sticks) and snacks for the kids, polarfleece blankets in the back, for if we need something to sit on, or to put some flowers onto so as not to get dirt in the car. There are CDs of kids music (Tom Chapin mostly), and of my music(wiiiiide variety). Books and activity books are in the seat backs for the kids. I have lots of coupons stashed for the off chance that I will be going to a store, and will be able to use the coupon. Hate it when I get to a store, and know that I have a coupon for $10 off, sitting right on the ledge at home. There is usually a bag with something in it to return to a store that I might pass in my travels. With the gas prices so high, combining trips these days is an art form!

I do wish we lived in a more european type setting in the way that the public transportation is so prevalent and the walking into towns is so typical, and the shops there are just right for that mindset. Instead we are in big suburban, consumeristic America, and we drive everywhere. yuck. And in the heat and humidity we have now in this part of the summer in CT, I find I like having the AC on, and I know that uses more gas too. But since I am more of a winter chick, I would rather be in Maine with the cool evenings where I can enjoy sleeping with a big cozy quilt, but still enjoy warmth, and alot less clothing during the day, and enjoy the chill in the evenings that allows for jeans and sweaters even in July. But I digress.

Mostly, I long for a place and a time, where I am not feeling like I am shuffling people and things on an ongoing basis. I long for a place in a peaceful setting where I know people who are around, where I can enjoy being relatively settled. I could even go for a cohousing environment- they intrigue me... on so many levels. But there goes my ADD again. As I finish writing this, I am looking at the clock to see how long before I need to hop into the car, yet again today. I will drive down the road about 4 miles to get Eli from the bus from camp. I will have to first get Emmett into the car, which is okay, but it makes me nuts that he can't just get in and sit down, he needs to be checking out all sorts of things first, and I will have to remind him to get his little hiney into the seat. Four year old time is a whole different thing. You have to budget extra minutes for pretty much everything, and then you can relax and laugh at the inconveniences, and the funny little insights that come with that pace.

It's all in balance.

Inspired playing

emmett in his underpants

I am working on creating a video. When I figure out how to post it I will.

I have been inspired by the Winter of the Dance to create a video using my new MacBook that I have just bought. It is so much fun to play and explore! The iPhoto program is new to me, and so much easier to do things with the photos, and even create cool photo books, which I am loving, and it is just so stinking easy to do... and then click 'buy' and it comes to your house!

So, I had looked at the iMovie, but hadn't been inspired yet to try it, as I was still playing in iPhoto, with all of the fun things there. Using the whole idea of play and reading Keri Smith's blog (wish jar journal) I am getting more in touch with my fun side. So after watching the video clip numerous times, it reminded me of my own little bug doing his underpants running and dancing this past winter. He came up with it on his own and just began doing it every night.
One day, a bit earlier than usual, I was able to capture it on film. And I am soooo glad I did, as it was a phase that was exquisite, and not worth missing. When I figure out how to post a video, I will add that here, as I have made a kind of fun one, with music and all. In the meantime, you will have to be satisfied with the still shot of him.

Winter in the midst of Summer...

A blog that I love reading, and getting inspired by, is Keri Smith's Wish Jar Journal. Her latest post is this short film that her husband Jeff created. It is incredibly quiet in ways, and peaceful, and intriguing and inspiring. I love how it makes us question the way we, as a society, have a learned intolerance for adults doing things that are perfectly acceptable for children... things that are just purely expressive and exuberant.

Take the ten minutes and enjoy this short wintry scene and the Winter of the Dance. Enjoy the vitality of these men dancing on a streetcorner in Ontario. Even Eli liked watching it.

amazing display

Every year, a woman who lives in this house on a busy road, plants a gazillion pots with flowers..... and this photo only shows a fraction of what there is to see!

Beautiful things

Lately I have been frustrated, as we go out somewhere, and then I snap one or two photos, then the batteries die. Sucks. I have learned that if I don't use the flash, it lasts longer (I usually cancel the flash anyway)
Okay, so the other night, we went to one of my favorite places for dinner and take out:
The food is always good there, and presentation is important, as it is in any Japanese meal.

my sashimi and negi maki

Adam's sushi deluxe

I would have loved to have taken more photos, hmm will have to go back....

Then, as we left, and were driving around, I saw these incredibly beautiful peonies, and the light was just right on them. I wanted to take one more photo before the battery died on me. I have a friend who does beautiful prints of flowers, and I wanted to take this for her.


but don't look too closely... the damned ant got into my picture. I was able to take only 2 more quick ones before the battery quit. But this was the best lighting and now I will have to get him out of there with photoshop somehow (I'm not good in photoshop at all!).

This one, I love too- it is the roses that were given to emmett's teachers on the final day of school this year. They were such a fabulus color! Two dozen of them all bunched together made for a stunning display.

Jamboree

Last night we went to the Fireman's Jamboree in little old Collinsville.
Two nights ago, I took Eli with his best friend Ian- and they had soooo much fun! (Adam stayed home with Emmett).




We have gone every year, but have never taken emmett before. So, this, his first night, was magical for him. We started on the Pirate Ship which just simply swings back and forth.....

This was emmett's first ride ever. He was a bit nervous, but then here, in the fourth or fifth swing of this ride, he had obviously relaxed and was enjoying it. I, on the other hand, had never done this one, and had 'pooh-poohed' it as being boring. In the above photo, I was looking at Adam, and mouthing "holy smokes"! My stomach was lurching at each swing! okay, so not going to go on that one again!

But then we went on the "sizzler", which luckily emmett was tall enough for. Eli had fun as did emmett and I. It is a ride that I have always loved and it instantly transports me back to my youth, and the feeling I got from it back when I went on it every year at the Polo Grounds. It makes me happy somehow to just be whizzed around and around and laughing all the way with whomever is sitting next to me.

emmett was getting tired by about 9pm - he is usually asleep by 7!

entranced by the fireworks on Adam's shoulders.... they were beautiful....
(but my lame attempts to capture them bursting in the sky were not)

Color week- red Friday

So, it is Friday and today's assigned color is red. I'm thinking as I woke up... "what the heck will I do for today? I don't have much red in my life.....". My brain slowly chugged into gear as I paked lunch for Eli and lo and behold... I have a red! one of his favorite snacks/ desserts in his lunch is one of these little asian cakes, which is sort of twinkie-ish. They come in lemon, orange and strawberry. And I must admit- they are good!

Then, as I was walking Eli in to his school, and I bumped into my friend Jonni. I looked down and saw her feet- yeah!! I had to explain it to her why I needed to take a photo of her feet. Lucky for me she obliged.


After dropping off Eli, emmett and I headed to the store.... and I was pushing the cart out..... there was more red!! the pile of baskets....


Then we got home and I unpacked things, and put out a bowl of these fabulous grape tomatoes that I needed to eat immediately after snapping the photo...
So... I DO have red in my life! although it is soooo not my color. I am a blue and green girl... with lots of neutral earthy tones thrown in.

Blue Thursday

Color week continues- today is blue......

Linens (I have a huge weakness for them)..... with my little e on top.....
I made a pile and emmett absolutely had to be on top!

Color Week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.......

Color Week kind of intrigued me....
It is a challenge to post a photo each day in a pre-selected color. Many bloggers participate, and it is kind of fun to look at what everyone else is doing. One blogger "hosts" it, and if you go to that blog /website ( click here ) , and read the 'comments' on the first day of the color week, you will see the comments from everyone who is participating and find the links to their blogs to see their photos for each day's color.

This color week was posed as an idea from two blogger sites:
one is port2port (as linked above)
and a joint effort from little birds

The color assignments for each day:
Monday- white
Tuesday- brown
Wednesday- gray/black
Thursday- blue
Friday- red

Gray/ Black is the color for wednesday.....

We hauled this lobster crate up from a little beach in Vinalhaven Maine, and brought it home with us. It now sits on our back porch and is used as a table by the kids for picnics, and for hors d'ouerves and drinks by the adults....

lobster crate

Tuesday Brown

There is so much brown I like! Beautiful bay horses, great cappuccino, creme brulee, soft warm sweaters, naturally wrapped packages in brown boxes/paper, and oh so much more....

For today, I also thought I would participate in the "Self Portrait Tuesday" challenge as well. (I will post a link to that one when I find it...)

me.... in brown

White Monday

These are placemats that I made in college when I took a weaving class.

handwoven placemats

morning rain

5:24 a.m. The soothing sound of rain eased into my sleep soaked head. I was slowly waking up and it was a heavenly transition. I could hear the raindrops gently hitting the skylight near the bed. I opened my eyes and looked out. I could see the droplets collecting together and then running down the incline of glass. I could see the tops of the trees outside of the house. I was transported to a cabin at summer camp, where I was the counselor in charge of a dozen teenage CITs. We lived together that summer in a cabin in the woods called "Whiffet". Our cabin at Camp Four Winds was seperate from all of the others, and it was peaceful in the mornings as I was always the first to wake up.

Rainy days at camp were special in that most of the usual activities were scrapped and the counselors would come up with fun, creative indoor alternatives. Everyone got wet, as we were out walking in the spacious area that was camp. People would come into a cabin shaking off their rainy gear, and settle in. It was a comforting and welcoming environment. We would always be treated to something warm for lunch. It was a lazy time, although filled with energy on sunny days, but an energy that was somehow peaceful and productive too.

There was time to enjoy all of our activities and relationships, as we were all there for weeks on end. All of the kids and all of the staff knew each other well by the end of the summer. Rainy days just brought us all into closer contact.

The rain this morning brought me back to all of those close-knit family feelings that were what camp was about. It gave me a sense of belonging and longing to stay snuggled in my covers and in my bed, and feeling like I just wanted to be back in my cabin in the woods, looking out at the trees through the windows that are hard to slide closed..... where you can lie in bed and listen to the rain gently hitting the leaves on the trees.... where you can smell the clean fresh scent of not much.... easing yourself slowly out of bed when you finally hear the 'wake-up-bell' ringing down the hill, and then pulling on enough clothing to keep you warm at breakfast.

I long to get up, and pick my way down the path, over roots and by saplings and the moss near the bigger trees, knowing it so well that you know which rocks will tip if you step on them, and where you shouldn't step so you don't fall.... being able to go quickly and not kill yourself on the way to the lodge for breakfast. But instead I ease my way out of my bed, and go down to my grown-up kitchen in reality, far from the lodge which is no longer there- it exists now only in the memories of so many campers and counselors.

I make some tea, and my kids will wake up soon, and we will start the morning chaos before school, where it will all be gone in a flash..... but it will still lurk there for as long as I can hold it today, as I am quiet and listen. I will stop my boys later to be still to listen to the peacefulness. It's good to be slow at times.

For the blog of it

this blog thing is strange. I think about it alot. I find I am reading so many other blogs, and I get sucked in. There are so many that intrigue me, but then I just totally take a pass on others. I can get lost for hours reading blogs, and then following links in their sidebars to others. So many different topics: travel, parenting, knitting, creating, photography, horses, animals, politics, world happenings, and more!

The food blogs appeal to me, and I love seeing them, and the photos, which generally are exquisite. I find now that when I go into stores, I want to purchase things like wonderful little plates and things that I could use for photographing the food I make to have it look just right for uploading onto the blog.

I keep taking photos of everything... for the blog. But I am not finding the time or gumption to upload all of them and write all that I want to share about all of it. I am busy enjoying the things I am eating or experiencing instead. So I am torn. I have always been into sharing things and doing for others. It is who I am. It is what I enjoy about being me .... sharing. So I am in a quandry. And I also am torn about my blog too.

I love the food blogs and feel like I want to have a blog just for food, but then there are so many other things that I also want to put on it that are not food, and would make it not a food blog. So, do I create another blog and dedicate that one just to food, and keep this one for the ins and outs of me? Will have to ponder that a bit. I know that there are so many other aspects to me that I want to share. Sure, food is a big part, but all of the other parts scream at me for their fair share too.

But then, I want to be writing things in my blog and writing wonderfully, but find I am busy actually living my life too. Like yesterday. I was folding laundry, which oddly, I enjoy doing. I was thinking I should write a blog on how I deal with it, since it is quite an overwhelming, constant, thankless task, and how much I still enjoy it, and... well, my mind was swirling and I can't remember it all at the moment. But the point is, do I stop what I am doing and run to the keyboard to get it down? I think yes. and I think no.

I have been told so many times that I should write, and now, here, I have found an outlet. So for the time being I shall blog. I suppose I should keep blogging about just anything, even though I know I get sucked in by the ideas of food. It is something so pervasive in everyone's life, whether just for sustinance, or truly for enjoyment. It is one thing that intrigues me in so many ways, about so many people, and places, and I ponder it frequently. I love food and all that it involves, and all that there is out there. I love to explore, in so many ways. Being a sociology major in college led me to indulging in the study of people in many ways. As I am now out in my life, studying other people is still what intrigues me. Learning about how people live, in so many different ways, and how we all act and react to so many things. How it is different in other cultures, yet there are things that tie us all together as well. I am fascinated with so many aspects of so much. Food ties all of us together. Thus, I enjoy food.

But there is so much more, and I need to keep to being the wildflower in the wind that I am.... so perhaps for now I will blog what interests me. Yes, food blogs appeal to me, but so do ones with wonderful posts about everyday life in different places, and photography blogs, and journals of people who write well, and ones of people who write of their dailyness on the farm and rural places, and .... and more and more.....

and for now I need to also share things about how my kids fascinate me too, and how much I enjoy them- and get mad at them too. But overall I love them and they make me happy. As I sit here on a small couch in the morning light and write this, each of my boys just came in to greet me in their own way this morning. I love their smiles, and they make me smile. I love being mom. I just have found I need to really work hard on being Lindsey and rediscovering that too. And feel like I need to be able to stand on my own and be who I am.

I have been journaling for a long time. Blogging is different and new. Words want to gush out of me in the way that a stream runs.... sometimes in a trickle, and sometimes in a torrent, swelling, changing, and always different, but I have always loved playing in that water. So, here I will continue to play and see what will happen.