Cool things lately

some things for fall and more.....
inspiring me lately.....
our house has been more peaceful and content with the onset of fall, and me getting to bed earlier (and therefore up earlier)!

I made a yummy butternut squash gratin with onions and sage, topped with gruyere and panko

getting better at henna

emmett picked out great mums

these pumpkins seemed to be sitting and waiting for something....a local vineyardEli at the start of a corn maze

wildflowers in the wind......
sunflowers with a few random pink flowers in the midst
I thought these were just the thing for when I figure out how to make my banner at the top of my blog

a place to be free and grow

free and confident to be himself

Emmett is lucky enough to go to school in a place that is wonderful. It is a large campus and was originally a private estate. It has been added on to over the years, but has maintained the integrity of the buildings. There is a wonderful feeling as one drives over the bridge that leads up the hill to the campus. The bridge goes over a stream which has a waterfall just to the right of the bridge. We always check it out to see and be aware of the changes through the days and the seasons. Sometimes it is barely a trickle, sometimes it is beautifully frozen in the winter, and sometimes gushing with muddy water after a heavy spring rain. It keeps us in touch with the environment and aware.

As you continue up the hill, it is almost Harry Potter-ish in that it is a large and beautiful structure looming ahead- somewhat magical. And magic is what happens in the preschool part of this school. It is warm, and nurturing and a heavenly learning environment that dwells on educating the WHOLE child, not just the academic attitude that many schools hold so dear. It is an environment that is rich in every facet, and where children gain confidence, and grow as individuals and responsible people in this world, and who appreciate all that there is to offer. It is the wonder of childhood that is celebrated.

With this fabulous campus, they truly take advantage of it all, and children of many ages are frequently seen out and about on the 75 acre campus, exploring, enjoying the pond, taking notes, doing art, experiments, skating on the large pond, watching the frogs in the tiny garden pond near the buildings, and generally being outdoors in every climate. There are fabulous sights all around, that are not stark like so much around us... they can have the beauty of this campus all around them...

these doors intrigue me

notice the roof of this walkway... love it!

I love this window and that it hasn't been changed


comfortable and free to run and explore

We are lucky. (me too as I was able to attend this school too as a child!)

Camp Four Winds

Please visit the Camp Four Winds site..... it is a blog, that I started after talking with Cathy about how many people want to connect, but don't know how. We discussed it for a bit, trying to figure out how to easily do it. I offered to set it up, and maintain it.... so here is the link! click on the words below!

Camp Four Winds

and yes, this is for Camp Four Winds, in Sargentville Maine. A girls camp on the coast of Maine, on the edge of Walker Pond. It is no longer there as a camp, but it still lives on in the memories of many of us. And if you visit the area in the summertime, you are sure to bump into someone who was there. Many people seem to be drawn back! :)

Ayurveda

I am learning to live a bit by the idea and principles (and food) of ayurveda, and it feels right. Ayurveda is intriguing and ancient and seems to be right. I have become a vegetarian (mostly) as of a few months ago, and every step I have taken that seems to move me, seems right. I am evolving. Last week I cut my hair (about 6" off the length- and has lots of layers) and it feels more playful and fun. I feel like I am coming out of my shell, that has sheltered me well for so long.

Fall always feels like new beginnings to me, and I know in certain cultures and religions that it is. I love fall for that reason and more. I love the change in the colors, the cool yet warm air, the desire for cozy food and clothes, and curling up. I love that the days are still long enough to enjoy going for barefoot walks with Eli after supper. I feel more alive in the fall.

Somehow I feel like I am moving forward and making progress on figuring out the direction my life is to take. I don't know what exactly it is yet (or where), but I do feel like some of the pieces of the puzzle are going in to place. I would love to see the whole picture that is the puzzle, but I am learning patience too.

For the time being, I am getting more grounded in my awareness of what I need. I am enjoying the sunshine and warmth that has been around lately, physically and mentally.

shirts off.....

I wear these turtleneck sweaters alot when it is chilly out

It was a moment of selfless abandon.

My little Emmett had been playing with his friend BenA, while I had been chatting with his mom. We walked to our cars, carrying what was left of our lunches. I was carrying some other things too and, while juggling it all, I spilled the sauce from the take out container all down the front of my green turtleneck. Yuck. But, whatever.....we both laughed!

I was just going to be driving home, but it felt really wet and clammy on my skin. I did have a sweater in the back of my car..... so I glanced around at the deserted (except for our boys) playground. There were 2 men playing tennis nearby, but they were very involved in their game. I really didn't care anyway, (never have- as some who have known me for years will attest) so.....

I whipped off my top, reached into the back of my car, and put on the sweater. My friend walked to her car, and then as I reached up to close the back hatch, I looked over past her car, and noticed the guy who was sitting in the back of the pick-up truck... smiling. He had a wonderful view of my parking spot and the back of my SUV.

Apparently there were a bunch of guys working on the pool nearby that I obviously hadn't seen taking their break. Oops.

but I figured, hell, at least he was smiling and not sitting there looking grossed out or horrified!

I smiled back, and went on with my day!

happy feet

Emmett with happy feet

As much as possible, my boys and I are barefoot. The other day, Emmett had so much fun playing in the water in the driveway and was running happily back and forth. He wanted me to watch how the water splashed up as he ran. I love how both of my boys seem fascinated with simple things like that. It leads to so much discovery.

Blogging by Mail- my package out...

This is what I included in my package that I sent all the way to Korea. I chose to spend the extra $4 and make it 4 days guaranteed delivery. Yes, it cost a bunch to ship, but I had fun putting it all together, and imagining how much the recipient would like it all!
I had so much fun packing stuff for my blogging by mail buddy. 89 people participated from all over the globe! I was assigned to Jenn of igot2shoes. She is Canadian, but lives in South Korea, so it was kind of fun trying to figure out what she might miss, and like. I read her blog quite a bit to try to figure out what she might like, and found loads of material to work with.
I also found, as I read her postings, that I love how she just puts stuff out there, and is bold about it. I also enjoy hearing how she reacts to all of the things she encounters in living over there.
I did end up contacting her before sending the package, as I knew it would cost a fortune to send the box, I wanted to make sure I was including anything she was dying for. She said she wanted a surprise, so I indulged her that. I shopped for all sorts of stuff and sent her a large package that was chock full of things that I had fun packing in, and imaging how I would feel if I were her and wanting her to be psyched about opening it and discovering fabulous goodies.
I have now emailed back and forth with my new-found friend, and am so glad it arrived there just about in time for her birthday! and so glad to hear how much she liked it all!

cool music

I love this musical piece on the playground at Eli's school. Emmett had fun running back and forth, making wonderfully melodic sounds. I love how it combines the physical and the musical. It is a fun twist on running with a stick and thumping it along a picket fence. When I am on the other side of it, we both are moving along and making such cool sounds- it is heavenly to listen to- and somehow a bit ethereal.

chocolate yummmmm

ginger + wasabi + black sesame seeds + dark chocolate

This is Black Pearl made by Vosges. Amazingly good, albeit expensive, chocolate. Their description of it:

Inhale warming ginger as menthol-nuanced wasabi cools. Sense the evolution of flavors in the mouth. Commence with ginger, followed by earthy cacao notes, mellow wasabi reminiscent of coriander, finishing with black sesame seeds, rich in nutty texture.

Damn it's good!

9/11 sadness

a small tribute

I was a bit more affected this year by the anniversary of this tragic event. Not sure why other than that it is a more significant one by virtue of being a 5 year mark.

We stopped at this little bronze sculpture that is a memorial to a woman from our town who died in the awfullness in the twin towers. Eli and I were on our way home from hockey, stopped to return books at the library (where this sweet sculpture is located) and took a few minutes to be here and be sad for all that has changed in this world because of these senseless acts. The mother of the woman who died is a teacher that Eli knows from his old school. Her sister works in another school Eli attended. I am sad for them today.

We live about 2 hours from NYC. We luckily were untouched by not knowing anyone personally who died that day.

Everyone has a story though, even those who experienced it by watching it on TV.

I was laden with child and due in just a few days. (Emmett was born only 8 days later). I had been on bedrest and had been allowed off of bedrest for the last few days of my pregnancy. Sept. 11th was my first day 'up'. I mostly spent it in front of the TV. I did make sure to find out where my older brother was, as he is often in NYC and I never know where in the globe he is. He was fine.

I have watched a bit on TV in the last few days. It makes me sad. I have also been telling the 'story' of what happened to Eli in 9 year-old terms. It makes one think things through in an entirely different way. Especially when answering somewhat profound questions... in his mind trying to make sense of something which is beyond that realm of possibility. Eli isn't sad. He is just trying to understand it all and take it all in, as are all of the rest of us still.

It puzzles me to have friends in Europe who seem perplexed by Americans being 'scared'. We Americans feel like targets. 9/11 changed any feeling of the comfort we had previously felt. Now one never knows what will happen next. Yes we feel unsafe. Perhaps it was just living through the day that was 9/11 and the uncertainty of what was happenening and why and how incredible it all was. We all held our children close, and called everyone we knew. Everyone spoke to each other while passing on the streets or in schools, or anywhere. Everyone had a "deer in the headlights" look. I hope we never have to experience such a thing again. But I think we all know this won't go away, as many other incidents have happened in many other places around the world. Our world has changed. and it doesn't always make sense- to 9 year-olds, or to adults either.

Blogging By Mail

what I received.....

My Blogging By Mail package arrived the other day. It was sent to me by Randi and included a fantastically yummy jar of Orange Rhubarb Ginger Jam, that I am assuming she made.

A foodie event, BBM has 89 participants this time (the first time I have done it) and it is obviously 'round the globe. Fun!

I am still packing up my package to ship off to South Korea. I have been having fun collecting things to send, after reading my recipient's blog and getting to know her a bit. I did contact her to ask a few questions, but she wants a surprise, so I won't post the photo of what I have sent until she receives it....

birthday come and gone

getting older? yes. wiser? maybe. definitely learning more about me, and who I want to become. If someone had told me that I would be going through this process in my 40s, I would have thought them crazy. Now I am finding that it is completely common. This is when we can find out who we truly are, after having many experiences to draw from, and to learn from. Where we have been shapes who we are now, and can help us to determine a bit of who we would and would not like to be. and even where we would like to be.

I am finding myself drawn to much of Buddhist thought and philosophy. Accepting, and appreciating what is now, and what we can't change, and acknowledging things around us.

For the moment, I am enjoying the new school year through and with my kids. They are having new classroom experiences, friends, and expectations. Eli is working hard with hockey, being on the ice many days a week right now. His class has his 2 best friends in it, and his teacher looped with them from last year. Emmett is trying to sort out how to be in a new classroom with very different, yet wonderful, teachers. Some of his friends are in the classroom next door.

Interesting hearing myself talk to them, also, and hearing advice I give them, and thinking how it needs to apply to me too. About money, and having 'things' and not always wanting more, and giving things away, and what is really important.
Working through a "LEGO problem" and hearing myself talk the boys through it. Who had what, and maybe since there is only one piece, we find something else that will suffice, and see how that can make it cool, and maybe even better.....
huh. (yes- that is profound)

But I did have a fabulous sandwich with my mom today from a moroccan restaurant, followed by a killer chocolate cake.
and my husband has my camera this weekend, so no photos of it.......

Cooler weather

It is time for some serious tea drinking now that the weather is turning more towards what I like... cooler temps! My favorite at the moment is Earl Grey de la Creme from haiTea..... it is creamy and smooth and just the right amount of bergamot.

My health is still a bit messed up. The flulike symptons are gone, but the muscle weakness and swelling is still there, along with being incredibly aching especially first thing in the morning. Can't use my hands very well, as I can't grip anything still. very impacting. it sucks. especially since I can't knit too, and it is the weather for that also! I am itching to get back to the project that I started in the spring. Maybe once we figure out my bizare malady. They drew 6 vials of blood this morning- hopefully that will help.... it certainly freaked out Emmett to watch the blood flooding out of me, and into the vials. He was with me, and his face was about 4 inches from the needle stuck in my arm, craning his neck around so as not to block the woman trying to not hurt me too much.

At least I have lost 4 pounds so far from this ordeal. but not to avoid chocolate of course. I have managed to eat that, even if I haven't been wanting to, been up to, eating anything all day.
Tired and off to bed. This, whatever it is has been keeping me up too much. I need some sleep!!! and I want to dream of fabulous truffles...... like the ones I saw in the Vosges catalog that came to the house the other day....... mmm...

ooooh, but I did get to have these beautiful fresh California figs that we usually never even get to see on this side of the continent. They were so good!


Okay, now really off..... to my chocolate heaven of dreams............

out of commission

yuck. I feel like crap. My muscles are so sore- don't know why. This came on all of a sudden. It also coincided with a (stupidly earned) injury to the ligaments in the back of my knee. So by that evening I was limping and it was even painful to walk up to the top of the stands at hockey the other night.

So that night I took some ibuprofen and went to bed. I was sore all night. My shoulders hurt, and more. Didn't sleep well. Felt like death would be a better choice. I had plans to go to lunch with a friend, which I did. She thought I was nuts 'cuz I was so cold and had on a sweater and polarfleece jacket- she had on one layer. My muscles hurt. It even hurt my arm to open her car door. When we got home, I went to bed- yes at 2:30 in the afternoon, and yes, with TWO comforters and a wool horse blanket on top of me! I was thankfully in my little cocoon. But there I stayed through the night.

Adam took care of the kids, and several times they all went out to do errands (hmmm.... my birthday is on Thursday- maybe they were shopping ). So that was incredibly helpful.

better today? not really, but a little. I got up around 11 and ate a little, (some awesome, totally organic chicken from my friend's farm) and took a shower. I stayed up and hung out a little with the kids, read some stuff online, and stupidly stayed up for quite a while. Lay down with each of the boys as they went to bed, and it hurt to get into bed and out of bed each time. So now I am back in my bed. Thank god for wireless internet and laptops!

My friends think I have Lyme disease. So I have hunted all sorts of stuff on the internet. I don't think it is what I have.
My muscles are so weak. One of the worst is in my lower arms, so I can't do things like turn a doorknob, open anything, squeeze anything, plug anything in, lift anything, etc. You wouldn't believe how much it affects! But.... for a change, Eli has been really helpful, and has helped with everything I ask, and hasn't balked or complained.

I hope it is just a flu, but I have never felt like this before. I hope it goes away soon.
On the bright side, all of this loafing has made my injury from the other day almost totally healed.... oooeee!